My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
