i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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