My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
