Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
