That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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