I wish I could teleport
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Randomize
