do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
