its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
