Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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