um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize