I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
