I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
