theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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