I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
