I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
