Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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