i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
