Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
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