yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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