I must be too annoying 4 u.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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