kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
