i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize