I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We left an ass print on the piano.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize