i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
