the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
