Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
