I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
