You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize