i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
