The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Couch. On fire.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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