Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
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