and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Randomize
