I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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