Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
