i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
