...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
