How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
tell me about the fingering
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
