You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
