I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
