i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
