after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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