I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
