my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
