I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
