Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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