When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I can't put those talents on a resume
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
