its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
This is classic penis vs brain.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize