then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
