I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
