Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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