You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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