I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
