Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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