bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Mom said you looked used
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
