that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
