Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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