I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
