waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
