I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
