This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
