what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
