She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
