his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
