i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
