Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i think my mom watched the whole time
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
