OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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