Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
