i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize