I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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