If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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