So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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