I puked a lego.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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